Where Did My Sick Days Go?

I think that's the only thing I miss about work. My days off. Whether for vacation, or convalescing from a cold.

I wish I could take a sick day today.

My throat is on fire. My nose is running....it's so sore from blowing it feels like I've been using sandpaper instead of tissue. I have coughing attacks that leave me breathless. The sinus pressure is so bad that one or both of my eyeballs may just pop right out of their sockets. Fun.

But I'm a stay-at-home mom. We don't get sick days.

Today I'm taking care a not-quite 1 year old who is dealing with the same cold as I am. He has lost most of his appetite, and when I can finally get him to eat he struggles with it....his throat must be so sore. He's uncomfortable. He's cranky. He's clingy.

Also in my charge for the day is a busy 2-year old. This little boy still hasn't figured out how to share his toys. As soon as his little brother starts playing with something of his, he snatches it away. And then the screaming starts. This toddler has also figured out this his little brother is getting some extra attention....attention he wants. More screaming. And it seems that big brother has caught the same nasty bug. Joy.

And here I sit...wishing I had a sick day. I know...I know...I should buck up. So what if I'm feeling a little under the weather. I have kids to take care of....kids who need their mother. This is what I wanted...to stay home and take care of them. I knew what I was getting into. I have no regrets.

Except for today. Today I regret that I can't take a sick day. 'Cause you know what....I feel like crap! And I'm fucking tired. I've been up the past two nights coddling my sick baby boy, and having coughing fits myself. All I want to do is curl up in a ball, in my nice comfy bed, and sleep. That's all. And I don't feel guilty about that.

Well....maybe a little....