Check Out My New Digs!

Well, it's finally here. The day I can leave blogger behind. The day I can move on to bigger and better and Wordpressier things! Adiós Blogger...bwa ha ha ha!

Imeant to do this about 6 hours ago, but shit (read kids and a splitting headache) happens.

So, without further adieu, I say goodbye to "A Beautiful Life", and hello to "monkeys and marbles".

That's right...the title of my new blog is "monkeys and marbles"...I know...weird...I told ya the new title would be more me! So go check out my new digs, and remember to change your blogroll links, etc. to http://www.monkeysandmarbles.com (or http://monkeysandmarbles.wordpress.com if you like...they both go the same place!)

What are you waiting for....go!

Coming Soon To A Browser Near You!

I started this blog on January 1st, 2007. I have changed a lot since then.

My diagnosis of Post Partum Depression in April initiated many of those changes. It was inevitably, really.

I realized a few months ago that the title of my blog, "A Beautiful Life", was bothering me. Not that I don't have a beautiful life...my husband is amazing, and more patient than I think I deserve sometimes. And have you seen my boys? They are my universe.

But sometimes my life isn't so "Beautiful". Sometimes it's downright shitty.

I guess I felt/feel like I named this blog at a time when my eyes weren't fully open to what my life was really like. Or maybe I named it "A Beautiful Life" in hopes that it would somehow transform my life into the "Beautiful Life" I eluded to in the title, or I was deluded enough to think everything was hunky-dory.

Either way, it's just not me.

I also need to get the fuck away from Blogger! As you all know, I've had my share of problems here. In fact, as I was trying to link back to my "Diagnosis: Depression" post in the previous sentence, Blogger laughed in my face and said "I don't think so, bitch! Bwa ha ha ha!". Frankly, I'm sick of it.

The last straw was last week when I realized that the post I published in mid-July about the birth of my brother's baby boy was gone. That's right...Blogger has eaten the post announcing the birth of my beautiful nephew, my brother's first son...the post I so lovingly wrote, complete with delicious newborn-baby-boy pictures. Gone....vanished into the Blogosphere, never to be read again.

Not happy.

So I am almost done creating my new blog over at Wordpress...brand spankin' new title and all. It will be a blog where I can be more honest...more myself...a blog where I won't feel the need to try to live up to a title like "A Beautiful Life". A blog where my posts won't disappear into thin air (I will be re-posting the birth announcement of my nephew once I move over to my new place!).

I just have some last minute tweaks to do, which I will hopefully be able to get done today. If all goes well, tomorrow will be the world premiere of Cate's new blog. A better blog.

Stay tuned....

An Imperfect 10

We have been waiting on pins and needles for over 3 weeks for results from Zander's blood tests. Well, the wait ended today...we finally got the phone call from the pediatrician's office. The main reason the blood work was done was to confirm that Zander's iron deficiency had indeed returned, and to find out what his current iron stores level is at. A child his age should have a level between 24 and 360...the higher the better, of course. Our little Zander is at 10..... According to the reading we've done on iron deficiency in toddlers, here are some symptoms that can rear their ugly head:

• pale skin (uh...ya, except for the yellow tinge from his Carotenemia!)
• fatigue (yup...except when he goes into super-hyper-temper-tantrum-spaz mode)
• irritability (ya...no shit!)
• decreased appetite (what a bonus for a kid who already has an eating disorder!)
  

And if that wasn't enough, a toddler suffering from iron deficiency could suffer permanent mental and physical developmental problems, decreased attention span, and it also makes kids more susceptible to lead poisoning and infection. Fan-fucking-tastic!

In order to replenish Zander's iron stores, our pediatrician has put him on iron drops. Finally, a little control over the situation. He doesn't eat, his iron levels drop. His iron level drop, his appetite disappears. No appetite, no eat. This vicious cycle has been slowly killing me.

We got the iron drops this afternoon, and since he is supposed to take them about an hour after a meal, we were anxiously awaiting his first after-dinner iron "installment".

I figured it would probably be less than scrumptious, so I took a taste to see what Zander was in for. You know what it tastes like? BLOOD! B-L-O-O-D! Blood! Nasty metallic-tasting blood, with a lovely everlasting aftertaste of bloody blood! I was half expecting there to be a warning on the bottle. "Caution: May cause vampire-like tendencies and, in rare cases, permanent vampire-ism". Yak! But the only warning on the bottle tells of the high probability that the drops contained within will leave dark stains on you child's teeth. Attractive, no?

So I loaded up a syringe of iron drops and a little water to dilute the heinousness of it, held a screaming, kicking, flailing Zander down on the couch and squirted it straight down his throat. I'm really looking forward to doing this 3 times a day. Joy.

But, really, it's a small price to pay to get my happy, healthy Zander back. And we can always hope that his vampire habits will be curbed before he starts dating.

I Still Manage To Impress

Hubby made dinner last night. We had our first corn-on-the-cob of the season. It was delicious. Of course, it wouldn't be dinnertime in our house without shenanigans and goings-on!


hubby: (as I'm about to take my first bite from the cob) I hope it's completely cooked...I boiled them for 5 minutes.

me: 5 minutes should do it. (I take a bite, pretending it's still raw)

hubby: (looking slightly deflated) I guess 5 minutes isn't enough....?

me: Just kidding! Ha! (I take a bite of corn with a wink and a mischievous grin) Mmmm...delicious and cooked to perfection!

hubby: I can't believe you just did that! I totally couldn't tell that you were pretending!

me: (saying with just a pinch of cockiness) I am an actress!

Zander: (turning towards me, a look of amazement and adoration on his face) Oh, WOW!


I'm so glad that I still manage to impress my 2 year-old son. Hopefully that will last...

There's A New Sheriff In Town

There's a new sheriff in town, and his name would be Zander. He's tough, he's not always fair and he takes no prisoners.

You see, my dear little Zander has learned a new phrase...from who, I'm sure I have no idea! This phrase would be "Stop Logan, NOW!"...although he does mix it up now and then with a "Logan Stop NOW!" or a "Stop Logan! Stop NOW!". But one thing you can count on, it is screamed from the depths of his little lungs every time, with extra special emphasis on "NOW!".

Nice!

So yesterday Zander was busy putting together his little Thomas train track...which he always does with his trusty plastic hammer, just to make sure the joints are "rea' toit!" (translation: real tight). As usual, as soon as Logan saw what Zander was doing he made his way over to promptly destroy what Zander had worked so diligently to create...making sure it was "rea' toit!", of course.

And then, it came...like thunder, his voice booming in a way that I had not heard before, "Rogan, stop! NOW!". I found it very hard not to laugh my ass off...but being the model of self control that I am [snicker], I kept a completely straight face.

Today, it has become clear that he's just making up the law to suit his fancy. Zander was sitting at the dining room table drawing when he noticed that Logan was crawling towards him. "Stop, Rogan! Stop NOW!". Did I mention that Logan was still about 8 feet away from him?

This must be some new proximity bi-law that I am not aware of.

I have submitted a formal request to Sheriff Zander, asking to be kept apprised of any amendments and/or additions to the current Laws of the House, so that I may do my best to stay on his good side.

The Poet In Me

Okay....in a bid to be as cool Jennifer aka Binky Bitch from Playgroups are No Place For Children and Cristina from A Mommy Story I have taken a stab at this Haiku Friday thing....thanks ladies for launching this...what a fun idea!

So, without further adieu...here is my attempt at Haiku. Hopefully it's not too painful!


my boys are sleeping
peace and quiet finally
I wish it would last

just enough time for
some lunch, some cleaning, some rest
till it starts again

when nap time is over
mad chaos and destruction
is hubby home yet?

smile, it is Friday
thank God it's a long weekend
I really need it

my wish for you all
a fantastical weekend
and sunny weather

but in the meantime
have a Friday laugh on me
read my poop story

I promise my friends
you will have laughs aplenty
so go and enjoy

my oldest now wakes
is it that time already?
my break was too short

Have a great weekend everyone!

When Poop Makes You Cry

I know what you're thinking. The title may lead you to believe that this post is about the eye-watering stench coming from my sons' toxic-waste-filled diapers...most likely Logan's. Well, you would be wrong.

I now pose this question...in run-on-sentence form.

What do you do when your son, who has just finished lunch, poops while still in his booster seat and starts crying while he's pooping like it's hurting him and when he's done he just starts screaming at the top of his lungs like someone has set fire to his diaper and he doesn't stop when you pick him up out of his seat and you know that changing his diaper and ridding him of the nastiness in within said diaper will take the fiery pain away but because he has Reflux Disease he can't lie down for at least 15-20 minutes after he finishes eating and he just finished eating and you don't dare change him while standing up because, while you have done it before, it's not the sort of thing you do when his diaper is loaded with danger and you just want to take the pain away and get him calmed down before his screaming kicks his reflux into high gear???

[phew...takes deep breathe]

I'll tell you what you do...you make a huge ass of yourself. You prance around like an idiot. You do somersaults, even though there isn't much floor space and you haven't done one in years and you know the chances of hurting yourself are pretty good. You make goofy faces and noises. You jump around, scratching your armpits and making "oo! oo! oo! ah! ah! ah!" sounds, pretending to be a monkey. You make up silly songs using your son's name and sing them at the top of your lungs. You sprint back and forth in front of the ottoman your son is standing at as fast as you can. You perform your own rendition of the Pee-Pee Dance. You play your bald head like a drum using your hands, performing such favourites as "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "Hickory Dickory Dock". You run yourself to exhaustion acting like a massive tool, all to buy yourself 15 minutes of distraction for your son...just enough time for him to start digesting what's in his tummy so you can safely change his diaper.

Then you look out your living room picture window to see a man standing on the roof of the school your house backs onto....looking at you...huge grin on his face...and you realize.....aw crap! Did he see the whole thing???

At least I got Logan to turn his screams into laughter until I could change his diaper. All was well as soon as he had a clean, dry bum. I, on the other hand, need a nap!

Note To Self: Close the curtains when any maintenance is being done on the school roof!