The Poet In Me

Okay....in a bid to be as cool Jennifer aka Binky Bitch from Playgroups are No Place For Children and Cristina from A Mommy Story I have taken a stab at this Haiku Friday thing....thanks ladies for launching this...what a fun idea!

So, without further adieu...here is my attempt at Haiku. Hopefully it's not too painful!


my boys are sleeping
peace and quiet finally
I wish it would last

just enough time for
some lunch, some cleaning, some rest
till it starts again

when nap time is over
mad chaos and destruction
is hubby home yet?

smile, it is Friday
thank God it's a long weekend
I really need it

my wish for you all
a fantastical weekend
and sunny weather

but in the meantime
have a Friday laugh on me
read my poop story

I promise my friends
you will have laughs aplenty
so go and enjoy

my oldest now wakes
is it that time already?
my break was too short

Have a great weekend everyone!

When Poop Makes You Cry

I know what you're thinking. The title may lead you to believe that this post is about the eye-watering stench coming from my sons' toxic-waste-filled diapers...most likely Logan's. Well, you would be wrong.

I now pose this question...in run-on-sentence form.

What do you do when your son, who has just finished lunch, poops while still in his booster seat and starts crying while he's pooping like it's hurting him and when he's done he just starts screaming at the top of his lungs like someone has set fire to his diaper and he doesn't stop when you pick him up out of his seat and you know that changing his diaper and ridding him of the nastiness in within said diaper will take the fiery pain away but because he has Reflux Disease he can't lie down for at least 15-20 minutes after he finishes eating and he just finished eating and you don't dare change him while standing up because, while you have done it before, it's not the sort of thing you do when his diaper is loaded with danger and you just want to take the pain away and get him calmed down before his screaming kicks his reflux into high gear???

[phew...takes deep breathe]

I'll tell you what you do...you make a huge ass of yourself. You prance around like an idiot. You do somersaults, even though there isn't much floor space and you haven't done one in years and you know the chances of hurting yourself are pretty good. You make goofy faces and noises. You jump around, scratching your armpits and making "oo! oo! oo! ah! ah! ah!" sounds, pretending to be a monkey. You make up silly songs using your son's name and sing them at the top of your lungs. You sprint back and forth in front of the ottoman your son is standing at as fast as you can. You perform your own rendition of the Pee-Pee Dance. You play your bald head like a drum using your hands, performing such favourites as "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "Hickory Dickory Dock". You run yourself to exhaustion acting like a massive tool, all to buy yourself 15 minutes of distraction for your son...just enough time for him to start digesting what's in his tummy so you can safely change his diaper.

Then you look out your living room picture window to see a man standing on the roof of the school your house backs onto....looking at you...huge grin on his face...and you realize.....aw crap! Did he see the whole thing???

At least I got Logan to turn his screams into laughter until I could change his diaper. All was well as soon as he had a clean, dry bum. I, on the other hand, need a nap!

Note To Self: Close the curtains when any maintenance is being done on the school roof!

A Bad Day For A Fall

Yesterday was a bad day for a couple of people in our family. Both Logan and Carlos' grandmother, Marcolina, had bad falls. Logan was left with a bump on the noggin, and a bruised ego. Marcolina wasn't so lucky.

First I will tell you about Logan's fall. He has recently began climbing up on the couch by himself. No fear...no understanding of falling off furniture or the consequences of doing so. Isn't that a happy day for every parent?

He is also not yet understanding the words "no", "stop" or "be careful". In fact, the grin on his face each time I utter these words indicates that he may believe they are just playful words such as "yay!" or "woohoo" or "wow".

Back to the story. As is usual now, he scrambled onto the couch, wiggling and kicking and flailing, finally hoisting himself onto the couch. Then he proceeded to try to scale the side of the bookcase beside the couch. I knew I couldn't get to him in time, so I called his name. He turned around, wicked grin drawn across his face, and just looked at me. His mistake was standing at the edge of the couch when he turned around instead of sitting down like he usually does.

It was as if the whole thing happened in slow motion. There was no way I could have stopped it. He just toppled over, falling from his standing position on the couch and landing flat on his back on the floor. The sound of his head hitting the wood floor made me unable to move. It was shockingly loud. Then came the screams. Ear piercing screams.

It took a good few minutes to calm him down. This was his first big fall, and I think he was pretty shaken. You know it's bad when the TV doesn't calm him immediately...and it didn't...right away. But a few minutes later all was forgotten. Too much was forgotten, it appears. He was right back to his couch-climbing ways in no time, and it was obvious that no lesson was learned. But the important thing is that he wasn't injured.

I wish I could say the same for Carlos' grandmother. Marcolina lives with Carlos' parents. She had a bad fall while they were at work, and couldn't get up. Luckily we had just bough an X10 personal security gadget for her, and Carlos had installed it on Sunday.

The X10 Personal Assistance Voice Dialer

She pressed the button on the heart pendant around her neck, and the system called Carlos' cell phone. He then called his mother, who left work immediately and headed home. When she got there she found Marcolina on the floor, her arm so swollen that she couldn't get up even with my mother-in-law's help. She ended up calling 911, and an ambulance came and took them to the hospital.

I shudder to think of Marcolina lying on that cold basement floor, waiting 4 hours for someone to come home and help her (Carlos got the call from the system at 1:20pm...my mother-in-law isn't home from work until 5:30pm or later). I am so thankful that we installed and tested the system on Sunday, and that Marcolina had the presence of mind to use it. It was 25 minutes from the time Carlos got the call to when my mother-in-law got home.

Poor Marcolina, 86 years old, fractured her arm. She's got a cast and everything. As if it wasn't hard enough for her to use her walker in the close quarters of her mother-in-law suite, now she has a cast to contend with. Luckily my mother-in-law had already planned a trip for her and her mother to visit family in Boston. They leave next week. Marcolina has been cleared to fly by her doctor. She will be pampered by her other daughter (Carlos' aunt), and her grandchildren. I'm sure her brightened spirit will help her heal faster.

I asked Zander if he wanted to make his great grandmother a "Get Well Soon" card. He screamed "Yup!", and ran to the table, anxiously awaiting his box of craft supplies. He then spent the next hour carefully crafting the perfect card. I've never seen him focus like that...it was like he was on mission. Every sticker placed with precision, every stroke of the crayon specific and deliberate. He was so pleased with his creation that he was hesitant to give it to his great grandmother...so much so that he wouldn't let it leave his iron grip for 30 minutes.

He wouldn't even look up for the camera!

Wouldn't you love to be given a masterpiece like this? A Zander original!

Hopefully we won't be getting any recorded messages from the X10 system again anytime soon. And hopefully Logan will start to understand the pain of launching himself off the couch...ya...that's never going to happen!

Now That's An Accident Waiting To Happen!

Zander was playing with the chairs in the dining room just after lunch today.

He pulled out the chair with Logan's booster seat on it, then walked over to the ottoman where Logan was standing.

Zander: Carr' Rogan!

Me: You want me to carry Logan?

Zander: N0! Carr' Rogan. Sit i' chair! (he points towards the chair that he has perfectly readied for Logan's arrival, puts his arms around Logan from behind and proceeds to try to lift him)

Me: You want to carry Logan and put him in his chair?

Zander: (squeals) Ya! Ya!

Me: Oh Zander, I don't think you can lift him. Maybe you can help mommy put Logan in his chair for snack time...okay?

Zander: (sounding a little defeated, but still hopeful) Okay.

Now, Zander is a tall boy....but I don't think his current 22 pounds stand a chance against Logan's squat 30 pounds!

The Cloud Has Started To Lift

I've been stressed out about a lot of things for the past few months.

I've been trying to find the right medication to able to feel like "me" again. I've been dealing with Zander's eating disorder (that's a whole other post). I've been working like mad to get this house ready for sale. I've been trying to keep my house spotless for the benefit of potential buyers...not an easy task with 1 and 2 year old boys destroying it as quickly as I was cleaning it!

And then there was the stress of actually selling the house. Would we be able to sell it quickly? Would we be trying for months? Would we be able to get close-to-asking-price?

All of this stress has manifested itself as an enormous, dark cloud hanging over my head, threatening to wreak hail and havoc at any given moment.

But the cloud has started to lift.

The word SOLD has never sounded so sweet!

NOTE: Before anyone thinks Canada in August requires long pants and sweaters, I will just say it was unseasonably cold the day this picture was taken (August 18th).

Cate Unplugged

So....I've been MIA for a few weeks. I've been overwhelmed by so many things.

I was so very overwhelmed by your outpouring of support and caring comments and emails. I don't think I can every properly thank any of you for that. It has meant so much.

I've been overwhelmed by the sheer number of posts still left unread in my Google Reader. I'm sure they are all beautifully written and pee-my-pants funny as usual....yet I've had no time to read them. I have no idea what is going on with all of my bloggy friends and daily reads, and that makes me feel crappy. And kind of lonely.

I have been overwhelmed by all the work on the house that needed to be done in such a short period of time to be able to sell it. It's officially been on the market for two weeks now, and we still have stuff to do. It's like the never-ending makeover!

I've been overwhelmed by the return of too many aspects of my PPD, and am dealing as best I can with my change in medication. But I'm so very tired all the time. It's like I'm being forced to be lazy, if that makes any sense...I don't like it.

I've been overwhelmingly overwhelmed by my 2 year old's refusal to eat. There have been a few ups and way too many downs. This is the worst rollercoaster ride EVAH! (Hi Sara, Jennifer and Heather...picked this word up from you...hope you don't mind me using it!)

I'm overwhelmed with guilt for the fact that my wonderful brother and his wife had a beautiful baby boy on July 14th...my first nephew, and this fucking house-selling shit hasn't allowed us time to make the 3 hour trip to see them. I didn't even post an announcement or pics or anything on my blog! What kind of a sister/sister-in-law/aunt am I???

All of this made me feel the need to unplug. Completely. I haven't posted anything. I haven't read anyone elses posts. I've checked my email every few days just to see if there are any emails from our Real Estate Agent....but I've only read about 8 emails in the past few weeks, and I rarely reply. I haven't been trying to be rude....I just need to completely cut off from everything and everyone.

But I feel like I'm coming out of the cloud now. It might take a while before I'm back to almost-daily posts, but for what it's worth I'm glad to be back.

I apologize to all of my fave bloggers who may have feel like I abandoned them. I promise I will be reading again soon...I may not comment on every post, but I'll definitely be leaving a few words here and there!